George Edwin SPEARS

                   Mom, how brave and valient you were. Your final illness found you weaker
eachday, with the initial weakness starting after our return from the
Van Horn r eunion in Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada. I did not know you
had had a bou tof pneumonia in April - before or after you planted the
cosmos in my garden ?You felt you were long in passing, but it was too
short for us You never c omplained about anything, just stating "About
the same". The doctors said the bone marrow test was so painful, but you
didn't flinch [And it was unnecess ary, it was fine]. Even when you
lapsed into the coma, four hours before pass ing, and we individually
spoke to you expressing our love and how much we wil lmiss you, you
opened your eyes, nodded at whoever was speaking, and then re turned to
your sleep. When the paramedics came, you did not respond, but even after
they left, you did. Thank you for my life, your direction for values, and
your preparation for leaving all that would be so necessary, in your
li ttlegray box I only hope I will be so well prepared
If Tomorrow Starts With outMe,
Subject: If tomorrow starts without me,
Mom, I love you and miss you so much I must keep reading this as I know
you were ready
If tomorrow star ts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears f or me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.
I knowhow much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you' ll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand ,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said m y place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
Al l those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
Atear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was le aving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
The t hought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive y esterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptine ss and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly th ings,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked throughheaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden th rone,
He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today your lif e on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.
Ipromise no tomorrow,
But to day will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing fo r the past.
You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times
You did some things
You knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand
An d share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we'r e far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.